The police at school

Yesterday, I picked up my children after school.  They attend a public school, an urban school with a gifted & talented program.  I love their school.  And it is a very urban school, and I mean that in the best sense.  It resides near downtown, which allows for them to take walking field trips, to plays, concerts and museums.  As with any other public school, there are all types of students.  Some might have issues at home-poverty, violence or absentee parents. Some students are more privileged and their parents choose to keep them in the public schools. Honestly, if our kids did not get accepted to this school, they might not attend the public schools.  We’ve seen a few first hand and it’s tough.

There’s a girl Mae has mentioned, I’ll call her “Jane.”  Jane  was in Mae’s class last year. Mae has talked about how she likes her, she’s a great writer and funny.  At the same time, Jane has been in some fights at school-behavior that Mae had not been exposed to before attending her school.  But despite this, Mae was never afraid of Jane. This year, Jane has had a hard time, by Mae’s accounts (my assessment though).  Mae has always shown consideration when talking about Jane and always, always mentions how nice she is.  It was recently that Mae informed me that Jane was no longer at their school, after some incident.  I’m not sure what the set-up is, but Jane rides the bus with the students from their school still.  I think, until yesterday. Continue reading

Kids who drive me crazy

There are many.  It used to be maddening but now I realize that kids are weird creatures and when they are your own, you mostly deal with the imperfections and enjoy the great moments that they give you.  When my 8 year old son is driving me nuts (like most of the time lately) I might think about when he and his older sister were playing with a castle and figures when he was three and she, five.  They had devised a battle of some kind.  Suddenly, Robert said “Look out!  Here come the lawyers!”  I still don’t know if that was a good thing, or a bad thing, the lawyers.  It was a funny thing, indeed.  As parents we have so many of those bits; some will be most boring to others, some will be gems.  So when MY kids drive me crazy, I might think like that; or lately the H and I are trying to remember that they are kids and our expectations might be unrealistic (like when we’re thinking “why are you so immature?”  about an 8 year old boy).

As for others kids, I find that I can get annoyed, especially if I know the parent and dislike their parenting style, or even disagree with it.  I know it isn’t fair to be annoyed with the kid herself, but at some point the responsibility of the kid’s personality does get divided between parent/child, right?  What I’m thinking is applying some new techniques I have in dealing with uncomfortable situations, people I have nothing in common with, or people who are making me angry:  try to place myself outside of myself, outside of my angry ego and accept what is in front of me, from a place that connects me with this situation or people.  Husband gave me this advice and he articulated it much better.  I can do that, it is much kinder and of course, children deserve kindness, well, everyone does.  And well, all children have their own “Here come the lawyers!” moments.