Financial stress is the absolute worst for families.  Right around the time that my husband and I found out that our five-year old daughter, Clare, would have to have open-heart surgery to correct a congenital heart defect (a medical determination we hoped we wouldn’t receive and did not thoroughly expect), we started experiencing some serious financial strain. Despite having a full work load, I had had no income for over 4 months and the economy was in turmoil.  I heard stories weekly of friends, and friends of friends who seemed “well-off” losing their homes. Every notice that came home from school for another field trip stressed me out.  We had to cease lessons for the kids and were always saying no to things they might have been accustomed to.  It felt terrible.  The bills were mounting, mostly medical, but keeping up with basic utilities was difficult.  In addition to the financial strain, the intense worry over our daughter’s health had me in a place almost too hard to bear.

I started talking more regularly to a dear friend of 20 years, a practicing Buddhist.  I had always considered her my “life coach” of sorts and indeed she is.  Aside from practical advice, she reminds me to trust in the “phenomenal universe.”  And I’ve begun to do that because, sometimes you have to.  We have talked nearly every day for the last many weeks.  She has helped me remain calm and mostly present, for my family.  In the past, during times of stress, particularly revolving around money, I had no means to cope.  The concerns and stress just built and built and usually I would get some serious case of pneumonia while being totally wrapped up in my strife.  But this time was different.  It was different because of Clare.  Her health and welfare became what was important.  The health and welfare of all my children became my focus.  And I am much happier for it.

One evening in the midst of this strain, I was driving home with Clare and Mae.  We were in  a nearby village which has nice sidewalks with specialty shops along.  Mae, who’s 10, spotted a nearby salon/spa  and said longingly “Oh, I want to go to the spa,” to which Clare responded, matter-of-factly, “Mae, I wouldn’t waste my food money on spa.” After a good chuckle, I reflected; there are so many things we want to give our children: lessons, camps, gifts, but lessons in money may be some of the most important.