In late October 2009, my husband, Will, and I were told that Clare, our 5 year old required open-heart surgery to correct a congenital heart defect.  We found this out two days after I found out I was pregnant.  I was very afraid this was some cosmic message.  Frankly, was this new baby replacing Clare?  It was difficult to steer away from that thinking, though as a dear friend told me, “It doesn’t work that way.”

In the beginning, I was very excited and began to grow rather quickly, making it difficult to hide this new fact.  I was happily self-conscious.  Clare’s surgery was scheduled for some four months away, which, at the time, seemed an eternity.  I would be nearly six months pregnant at the time.  I had a lot of stress come my way after finding out about my pregnancy, and Clare. Continue reading →